Current:Home > InvestTikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree. -Triumph Financial Guides
TikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree.
View
Date:2025-04-13 22:48:13
TikTokers say they've discovered the secret to predicting whether a couple will last or eventually breakup − and psychologists say they're actually onto something.
It's called the bird test, and it's the subject of research conducted by psychologist John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, an organization dedicated to investigating the psychology of relationships. Videos tagged #birdtest have accumulated more than 16 million views with users testing the theory on their significant others.
The test involves getting excited about something insignificant and seeing how your partner reacts. For instance, if you look out the window and exclaim, "Wow, that's a beautiful bird," does your partner look to see what you're interested in or do they ignore it and go about their business? Or worse: Do they lash out and dismiss your enthusiasm entirely?
Repeated reactions that involve ignoring or flat-out rejecting your attempts to connect, even over something small like a bird, doesn't bode well for the future of the relationship, the bird test posits.
Gary Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says there's a lot of truth to it.
"The beauty of the bird test is, basically ... it's a bid to ask whoever you're with to turn towards you and engage with you and show interest in something that you're interested in, versus what (Gottman) calls turning away," he says.
Is the bird test reliable?
The purpose of the bird test is to see how often your partner picks up on bids you offer them in your relationship. Brown describes a bid as "a request to engage and to connect with the other, no matter what the topic is," such as an invitation to look at a bird.
In his research, Gottman found couples who stayed together and reported feeling happy in their relationships turned toward each other about 86% of the time when presented a bid from their partner. Couples who broke up or felt unhappy in their relationships turned toward each other only about 33% of the time, according to The Gottman Institute's website.
David and Victoria Beckhamand how to (maybe) tell if your partner is in love with you
Bids may seem small, but they happen frequently, so it's important not to ignore them.
"Throughout the day, we're often making these bids right?" licensed psychotherapist Marni Feuerman says. "It's not unusual to say, 'Hey, do you want to have dinner now? Do you want to go on a walk? Oh, look at this cool Netflix show.' How is your partner responding and reacting?"
Several TikTokers have put their partners to the bird test, including former "Bachelorette" star Michelle Young, who practically jumped for joy when her significant other stopped to look out the window when she said she saw a cardinal. Gottman himself has endorsed the trend on TikTok as well.
What if the bird test goes wrong?
Don't panic if your partner fails a bird test.
Brown says that, if you're going to employ the bird test, make sure it's not during a time when your partner is occupied.
"If you're in a relationship and you are wanting to look at a bird, but it's the seventh game of the World Series for your partner, and your partner may say, 'I can't turn towards you now,' ... that doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed," Brown says.
Also, it's more important to see how your partner responds to you over time, so don't write them off if they fail a single bird test.
"Make those bids a few times over the course of a couple days," Feuerman says. "Look for the pattern. So, if consistently the partner ignores, doesn't respond, the bid isn't tuned into, then yes, I would say someone could reasonably discern 'I might have an issue here' or there might be a problem."
And if there is an issue, talk it out − and keep in mind no one is going to pass the bird test every time.
"People are going to miss bids on occasion, and so it's not about people getting worried or panicked that they're missing some, because you will. We all will," Feuerman says. "We're human."
veryGood! (8375)
Related
- Rams vs. 49ers highlights: LA wins rainy defensive struggle in key divisional game
- Americans don't sleep enough. The long-term effects are dire, especially for Black people
- Zebras and camels rescued from trailer fire in Indiana
- See the moment climate activists throw soup at the ‘Mona Lisa’ in Paris
- In ‘Nickel Boys,’ striving for a new way to see
- Teenager awaiting trial in 2020 homicide who fled outside hospital is captured in Philadelphia
- South Carolina town mayor is killed in a car crash
- Travis Kelce gets the party going for Chiefs with a game for the ages
- Whoopi Goldberg is delightfully vile as Miss Hannigan in ‘Annie’ stage return
- Trial to begin for men accused of killing Run-DMC star Jam Master Jay
Ranking
- What were Tom Selleck's juicy final 'Blue Bloods' words in Reagan family
- As displaced Palestinians flee to Gaza-Egypt border demilitarized zone, Israel says it must be in our hands
- Inflation has slowed. Now the Federal Reserve faces expectations for rate cuts
- A Klimt painting that was lost for nearly 100 years after being confiscated by Nazis will be auctioned
- Charges tied to China weigh on GM in Q4, but profit and revenue top expectations
- How Dakota Johnson Honored Taylor Swift on SNL
- International Holocaust Remembrance Day marks 79th anniversary of Auschwitz liberation
- Jay Leno petitions to be conservator of wife Mavis' estate after her dementia diagnosis
Recommendation
'No Good Deed': Who's the killer in the Netflix comedy? And will there be a Season 2?
Watch: Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce share celebratory kiss after Chiefs win AFC championship
A new satellite could help scientists unravel some of Earth's mysteries. Here's how.
Shares of building materials maker Holcim jump as it plans to list unit in the US
McConnell absent from Senate on Thursday as he recovers from fall in Capitol
A Texas 2nd grader saw people experiencing homelessness. She used her allowance to help.
2 officers on Florida’s Space Coast wounded, doing ‘OK’
Shares of building materials maker Holcim jump as it plans to list unit in the US